


Living

by Stony RS (StonyRS)



Series: Parallel Stony Universe. [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Avengers, Humor, Love, M/M, Minor Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Minor Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Protective Bruce Banner, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 04:49:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4551132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StonyRS/pseuds/Stony%20RS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Few people live, most of all exist, that's all" - O.W.</p><p>Where Steve stops looking at his past and starts living his present, or where Tony Stark gets himself pregnant to keep on living.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The request.

**Author's Note:**

> MPREG. If you don't like it, don't read it. Easy as it goes.

Tony was wandering around Bruce’s lab, his steps were slow, his fingers frenetically moving, his eyes were locked at a dead spot, he kept on turning and walking as a lion inside a cage, a knot was tied tight at his throat asphyxiating him, his frozen heart shrinking in his chest, there was no way out. This was it. He kept recalling Steve’s words when they had their first public fight many years ago “Always a way out” Yes, that was Tony. He was used to always find a way to fix things, he was creative, brilliant, always a way out. If the element wasn’t working, he created a new one, if all the literals were failing he recreated the equation, but now… Now there was nothing to do, and that was what truly killed him.

“Tony, what brings you here?” Banner scared him, he jumped and was pulled out of his trance, he tried hard to give the Doctor a smile, but only a broken half smile came out of his lips, he breathed deeply trying to fill his lungs to talk, but when he tried to say a word nothing came out. He bit his lip trying to hold down a sob, he gave up and simply handed Bruce a red folder. Bruce took it a bit worried and started flipping through the pages.

After few minutes that seemed hell for Tony. Bruce gave him one of those looks full of sadness, anger and disappointment.

“Since when Tony?” Banner’s voice was broken, he tried hard to articulate the words clearly “It was Extremis right?”

“No, well yes... well technically it made everything worse”

“Since when Tony?” Bruce asked again, his voice rough, serious and even threatening.

“Three years, take or give a few months”

Bruce being the genius he was had an implacable thirst of discovering and innovating, of helping and changing the world’s condition, well, he used to risk his life and freedom every time  code green was requested, that’s enough prove to his meaning. But he was also mature enough to understand a hopeless case, he strongly held the papers, leaving fingerprints of sweat, he gave Tony a  look trying to explain with his eyes how much this was hurting him. Tony understood and weakly smiled, he was about to say a word when he felt Bruce’s body embrace him, wrapping his arms around the engineer, Bruce dug his head in Tony’s neck looking for shelter, he felt how his neck was now wet, Bruce was crying. Tony broke, he rested his forehead in Bruce’s shoulder and sobbed, now everything was said, Banner’s reaction had murdered every stupid light of hope Tony had.

“Come on, I need your help” Tony said, his voice totally broken, Bruce stepped away and nodded immediately, his cheeks wet and his glassy eyes, Tony sighed and wiped his tears, then he tried to build up a smile.

“Come on, I ain’t dead yet” Tony tried hopelessly to joke about this to light up the mood, it didn’t come out right, Bruce broke even more. The painful silence building a void between both men whose bodies stood there but whose minds were traveling fast to a tragic new perspective.

“What can I do that you haven’t done yet?” Bruce asked melancholic and stressed.

“I’m not asking you to save me, I just need to know. How much time I’ve got left?”

Bruce let out a sob but then held himself, he looked at the papers Tony had given to him, he re-read them, the percentages bars, the monthly statics, the clinical analysis, the chemical composition of the element and his reaction to other elements, the outrageous results when it had been tested in natural living elements. It didn’t look good, nothing was favourable and neither hard to understand. The element had being responding perfectly all this time, it had kept Tony alive but at the same time had being forcing every organ, aging him, it had forced the entire body to keep on with it and to make the heart, the reactor work. Now he understood why Tony had injected himself with Extremis, he had thought that without the element inside him his health would recover, he looked at the statics, it had worked at the beginning. But then Extremis made it worse, it had been almost deadly, aging him faster than the reactor, the genius had made a mistake, a huge one, there was no way out. Bruce tried to gather all the possibilities, even having all the organs replaced his inner tissue was infected, his blood, maybe even his DNA, it wasn’t toxicity nor palladium poisoning, it was a grenade. A quiet inner grenade ready to blow everything up at any moment.

“I need a full scan and an inner valuation to determine the time you’ve got”

“Go ahead”

Banner pulled the white coat sleeves up and started programming the white impeccable machines around him, he took Tony’s arm and the engineer followed, Stark walked until he reached a perfect aluminium square placed in the floor, he stood over it and closed his eyes.

“It might take a while” Bruce said and started working, Tony didn’t open his eyes.

After 15 minutes Bruce already had everything he needed in his hands, the only thing missing was courage to start reading the pages.

“Come on Bruce” Tony pushed giving him a begging look, the doctor smiled weakly and took the papers, he started analysing them, handing them to Tony, Tony understood but couldn’t translate the diagnose to a number, to a date, to years or months, weeks, days… a cold shiver made him tremble. Days.  

“The more time you keep living the less strength you have to fight it, is increasing it’s speed, aging you faster, it’s like cancer but lethal and with no treatment” Bruce paused and looked at Tony trying to analyse Stark’s face, Tony was about to make a joke about the suspense in the situation but the loud noise of silence was extinguished by Banner’s rough voice.

“3 to 5 years”

Silence again.

“Thanks. I now need something more to ask you, but you need to promise me, swear to God you’ll do it” Bruce took a step back and looked a bit frightened, but to be honest he couldn’t refuse right now, not to anything Tony needed or wanted, so he just nodded.

“Don’t tell, intuit anything to Steve, don’t even let him inquire” His words were like realising an atomic bomb, Bruce exploded

“He doesn’t know? I thought he had married you because he knew! You’re fucking crazy Stark, out of your mind. He before than me or anyone has the right to know, after all these years together, how were you planning on hiding it? Have a bit of consideration” Bruce was beginning to breathe heavily, his words coming quickly and tangling between one another, his eyes sparkling anger. Tony stood quietly, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I don’t think its fair to keep him waiting for a date, 3 to 5 years counting the days, it’d be hell for him, and for me too”

“He has the right to know, to say goodbye, to do something, anything” His words were coldly leaving his lips, he was sharp.

“And he will know, when time is almost over”

“He would hate you for hiding it from him, all this years…. He had lost all the people he had loved, for some odd reason everyone he loves, dies. He won’t be able t…” Tony interrupted him “That’s exactly the reason Bruce, I don’t want him to suffer more than what he actually will. Please”

“I don’t agree Tony, not even a bit” Tony rolled his eyes and held his head with both hands, he gave Bruce an assassin look, full of hate and annoyance, he was now pissed “All right, think a bit little genius. What will Steve do when he finds out?”

“Take care of you, be…” Bruce was interrupted by Tony “Don’t” Tony’s voice was now sharp, intimidating Bruce “Think again, think in how will Steve react. Not you, Steve. What would he do?”

Silence seemed to be the more participative guest of this night full of invisible knots tied at their throats, both men having an emotional roller coaster of emotions, after few more minutes Bruce looked straight to Tony’s brown gaze.

“He would look for help” he simply said and Tony burst out laughing, Bruce already knew that laugh, it meant Tony was pissed and nervous “Exactly. They’d be the longest, most tired years of my life, watching him suffer tied to a hope that doesn’t fucking exist!” The last words unexpectedly came out as a suffocated scream, Bruce stepped closer and hugged him, trying to calm the man down. Tony couldn’t handle, he had kept it down for so long, he just broke, broke into loud sobs and a long painful cry, he couldn’t stop himself, he didn’t want to “He’d like to die too” Tony whispered below his breath, Bruce  sighed.

“Have you thought about the serum?” Bruce inquired and Tony let out a chuckle, he stepped back and with a white coat Bruce had hanging at the wall wiped his tears, drying up his cheeks.

“Steve’s serum” he mumbled and let out a laugh “that godamn serum is impossible to recreate, not even with Steve’s DNA” Tony said and smiled in a way that made Bruce’s skin crisps “You better than anyone knows that any flaw in the formula can release a genetic disaster”

“Genetic” Bruce repeated “It’s in Steve’s genetic, that’s why no one could recreate it, he needs to implant his gens in you…”

“Already analysed that and I believe it might work, it may not save me, but it will give me more time, so that leads us to the third request I’ve got for you” Bruce exhaled deeply.

“What else Tony?” He asked worried.

“I need by any means to manipulate my biology and nature” Bruce took a step back guessing where this was heading to “I need to get pregnant”

“Shit” Bruce mumbled and let out a chuckle, he was nervous, he wandered around the lab still chuckling and walking around in circles “Are you fucking nuts? It will immediately take all your strength, it will take out 2 or 3 years from your life, and that’s if I can make it happen, but I seriously doubt it. No way Tony”

“Come on Bruce! We’ve played with biogenetics and neuroscience to upgrade human beings, we’ve created artificial auto destructive intelligence which almost extinguish the world, we’ve created new elements, developed genetic neurogenic mutations able to discover the brain’s total capacity. We are the future and you’re telling me you can’t get a pregnant man? Come on!” Tony said and opened his arms, Bruce just chuckled nervously “I already know the basis abut biology, I’ve got theories, but I need you” There was a long pause “My body can take it for about four months of pregnancy, after it the serum would be the one giving me strength to keep on”

“And what if it doesn’t?” Bruce asked pissed “It will, trust me, it’s so simple, we’re combining DNA, his genetic code will be stronger than mine, the mother cells will heal my inner organs, not totally but please we’ve got to try it!” Tony begged.

“It could work, it could give you more years to live, maybe 10 more years instead of three. But Tony, what if you can’t take those first 3 months that the DNA needs to grow stronger? It will kill you”

“I know” He said almost smiling “It’s worth the try”

“I don’t know if you’re on age, I mean, how old are you? 47?” Bruce asked considering it for a bit, Tony knew he was almost winning this over.

“49 but it doesn’t really matter, come on! I know you can make it happen”

Silence again.

“You’re impossible Stark” Bruce said and let out a defeated sigh, he took both hands to his head and gave a frustrated glare to Tony

“Just say yes” Tony begged, his eyes watery full of joy, hope, happiness, Bruce couldn’t fight that look.

“All right” he mumbled and Stark for the first time in the night smiled widely.

He had a simple plan, leave Steve a reason to keep on living, to keep on fighting, to be happy, and at the same time extend his deadline. It didn’t have any possible flaw.


	2. Positive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M-Preg warning. "Rape" warning.

“All right, this may hurt a bit” Bruce said and held out the syringe and looked him in the eye with huge concern.

“I’m a 49 almost 50 year old, and Iron Man, and already took the hardest part. I can handle a fucking needle” He said frustrated, Bruce sighed and dug the needle in his arm, it wasn’t bad actually, until a few more seconds. The liquid was spreading through his blood, he could feel how it was burning him from the inside “Holly fuck!” Tony shouted and took a step backwards, Bruce dragged a chair and Tony sat, breathing heavily. Heat was spreading through his arms, it felt spicy, painful. Tony closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing, arrhythmias hitting him without advice. He was sweating, he could feel Bruce’s hand rubbing his back, it didn’t help much, but at least Banner was trying to be nice, after some more minutes in hell it started decreasing, after more minutes it was finally over.

“I told you”  Bruce said smiling when he saw the engineer’s pain face fade away, the less you want to hear after so much pain is someone saying “I told you so”, Tony looked up finding Bruce’s black gaze, he gave him a deep hatred look. Bruce chuckled.

“Hell you did” He said breathless and took the glass of water Bruce was giving him “So this is for?” Tony asked incapable of thinking at every detail of this biological scientific experiment. It had taken so many weeks of such random preparations, first Bruce had injected him with several hormones that made his mood swing, but of course he used to be naturally moody so Steve didn’t notice any change. Then Bruce had taken him to surgery, he did not expect that, it was harder to hide it from Steve, luckily the Captain was gone for a few days which gave him time to recover, not fully but at least enough to walk on his own. He didn’t understand the logic in this procedure, but he trusted Bruce deeply and that was enough.

“These” Bruce pointed at the empty syringe “Are specifically designed cells that will open a conduct to re-direct the sperm cell and find the uterus which already has an egg cell designed and built with you DNA, which by the way was implanted on you last week on surgery”

“So it’s like a vagina inside me?” Tony asked and Bruce chuckled.

“If you put it that way, it is. And it won’t last long”

Tony smiled and grabbed blueberries from the containers he had at Bruce’s lab, he was anxious, nervous, his sweaty hands holding the blueberries, he felt a stroke of regret. Maybe all this bullshit was nonsense, maybe telling everything to Steve was a better idea, maybe he should have listened to Bruce. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing Steve, Bruce, The Avengers, now losing a kid too? He had thought of Steve, but never on himself. This was going to hurt like shit.

Bruce was looking at Tony, he could see how the genius’s eyes were turning glassy, he could see his face dropping, his jaw tensing, and he knew… he knew Tony was realizing there were no turning backs, he was a grenade, he could explode at any moment and had made such an illogical hard choice. Bruce felt a knot at his throat, he loved Tony. Always had, always will. He was the closest to a brother, he was his brother, he thought while remembering all the “science-bro” things Tony kept saying. He was going to miss the man. Cause at the end everyone was here because of him. Not Steve, or Fury, not even the world. It was Tony the one that kept them together.

He bit his lip and inhaled, he took a deep amount of air into his lungs and realized it was the greatest scent ever. Then he walked closer to Tony and inhaled a bit more. The smell went stronger, filling his nostrils, reaching for his lungs, his chest, his heart beating faster. Fuck. The hormones. Those godamn hormones had made Tony the most fuckable person, he was smelling so well… he even felt how his dick began to swallow.

“Get out” Bruce managed to say stepping the farthest he could from Tony.

“What do you mean?”  Tony slipped away from his thoughts and turned to face the scientist with a confused glare.

“Get the fuck out of here” Bruce repeated and Tony stood shocked, his lips began to tremble trying to find the right words, he couldn’t talk, had he done something wrong? He didn’t even say anything! He walked closer to Bruce, trying to get an answer.

“NO!” Bruce screamed and Tony jumped, he had never seen Bruce this aggressive, he even saw how his eyes were turning in a shade of green, his veins bumping from his arms. He took a step closer, Stark never obeyed no one.

“Are you all right? You look like hulking at every moment”

“I will if you don’t get the fuck out” Bruce shouted covering his nose with his arm, Tony didn’t understand.

“Did I do something to offend you?” Tony asked petrified, Bruce rolled his eyes in frustration, doing his best to contain himself, his nature couldn’t take it anymore, he could feel how his muscles were stretching under his clothes.

“Tony, I…. I think I might rape you if you don’t leave” At any other moment Tony would’ve smiled, even chuckled and make a joke about it, but he saw it in Bruce’s eyes. This was serious. He lifted his arms in sign of peace and walked out of the lab closing the door behind him, he heard Bruce screaming “Lock yourself in your lab”

He didn’t know what was going on, he was walking through the living room and heard a voice.

“Damn Stark, you’re smelling well” It was Clint’s voice, who was lying on the couch with a bowl full of popcorns.

“I always do” Tony said a bit shocked, Clint wasn’t the kind of guy to throw compliments, not even to Natasha.

“Come closer” Clint’s voice was bossy, rough and demanding, Tony stupidly obeyed, when he was standing next to the couch Clint inhaled deeply and his eyes darkened, he stood up and took him aggressively by the shirt, pushing him into the couch, he was about to unbuckle his belt when Natasha hit him in the head.

“What the hell is going on?!” Tony yelled, panic impregnating his voice, his eyes lost in confusion, Natasha gave him a deep hatred look.

“Bruce told you to lock yourself. What are you still doing here Stark?!”

“I don’t get it, please tell me what the fuck is going on, I didn’t even do something, I’ve been behaving myself”

“Get down and lock yourself” Natasha said ignoring him, she stood at inches from him, she was shorter but fierce, she was daring him. He took a step back, he really didn’t need to fight a super assassin, at least not now. So he just shook his head and obeyed.

He walked into the elevator, and went straight to his workshop.

“Jarvis please lock the doors”

“Yes sir”

Tony stood there, incapable of thinking straight. He was absorbed by the memory of Bruce’s reaction, he had never been this mean to Tony, and then Clint taking him by the shirt and pushing him to the couch, then Natasha defending him, what was wrong? Suddenly Loki crossed his mind, he asked Jarvis about him and the AI said there were no signs of alien life, besides Thor who had just arrived to the tower. He remained silent, sitting in a chair, his thoughts lost. Then a holographic screen appeared in front of him, and he saw Bruce’s face, he looked so much better now, friendlier and controlled.

“Tony I’m sorry”

“Bruce, Are you okay? What’s happening? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it’s all right. I’m all right, the cells I gave you increased your hormone level, I just didn’t expect them to work so fast.  You are now desirable to any human being with a sperm cell. It’s pure chemistry, that way it’ll be easier to get the egg cell fertilized”

Tony raised his eyebrows in surprise, he was speechless.

“It’ll start to bother you in few more minutes”

“Bother me?”

“You’ll be extremely horny, but don’t get out or someone will rape you, I’m calling Steve” Bruce said and Tony chuckled.

“Is this like being on heat? Like what happens to animals”

“Tony, we are animals. But yes, is exactly the same, you’ll be on heat”

“I can handle it” Tony said arrogant and crossed his arms over his chest, Bruce shook his head “You can’t, I’ll call you back in a few more minutes” after that the holographic screen was shut.

An hour went by and Tony was facing hell. He was desperate, it was so much pain, he had an erected dick since the last 40 minutes, and he just couldn’t reach orgasm, he needed to be fucked. “Fuck you Bruce” he kept on mumbling under his breath while rubbing his dick in the couch, breathing heavily, he’d never been this horny in his whole life. Where the fuck was Steve?!

...... 

Steve walked into the tower, he had come early because he saw 23 missed calls from Bruce, that wasn’t normal. He walked into Bruce’s lab and found him reading a book, everything seemed pretty normal.

“Dr. Banner, are you all right?” Steve asked a bit pissed for coming early when he had lots of paperwork back at SHIELD.

“Yes, everything’s fine” Bruce said looking him doubly, then he kept reading, why would Steve come to visit him? Was Tony all right?... Damn, Tony “Wait!” Bruce screamed remembering about Tony’s condition, Steve turned around the fastest he could, holding his shield, ready to attack “Calm down, I’m not hulking out”

“Sorry” Steve said blushing, he looked ashamed, he lowered the shield.

“Steve, Tony’s not feeling very well”

Those words were enough for Steve to tense up and get into the Captain America bossy voice.

“What happened? Where is he? Why didn’t you call me?” His voice turning thicker at every word he said.

“I did, you didn’t answer” Bruce said calmly and Steve rolled his eyes, they damn knew they had to text him “SOS” for any Tony emergency, it was a deal he had with everyone on the team, of course Tony didn’t know about it.

“Where is he?!”

“He locked himself at his workshop” Bruce said and Steve was gone.

Steve took the stairs, went downstairs and stood in front of the glass door.

“Jarvis” He said and the AI automatically opened the door.

He got inside searching Tony through the machinery, the cars, the tools he had covering a great deal of floor area, he was growing more desperate at each second he couldn’t spot him. He finally found him lying on the couch, wet in sweat, his face red, his heavy breathing and sudden gasps for breath, his watery eyes and wet cheeks.

“Tony, what happened?” Steve kneeled in front of him and gave him a kiss in the forehead, he inhaled over Tony’s skin, the scent sent him shivers all over his muscles, he felt a pleasures tingling in his neck, his heart began to beat faster, his breath started to get heavy, his dick began to swallow.

“Steve, please fuck me” Tony mumbled desperately, Steve looked at him astonished.

“Tony you’re sick, come one, I need to take you to the doctor” Steve said trying to control this instinctively rush that was gaining him, he took Tony in his arms, it was almost unbearable to be this close to Tony, his scent was sending him great waves of pain and pleasure, he tried his best to remain calm.

“Steve I need you to fuck me, it hurts so bad” Tony said crying, his voice broken, he looked into Steve’s eyes and kissed him deeply, Steve didn’t hesitate and took Tony in his arms, lifting him up and smashing him in the wall, he heard Tony’s bones crack, he broke apart trying to breathe. He needed to keep calm, he was going to hurt Tony if he couldn’t contain himself.

“Why do you smell so damn good? Why are you like this?”  Steve asked trying to understand this sudden need to just rip Tony’s ass in half with his already erected cock, Tony almost cried out of frustration.

“Just fuck me!” Tony demanded in a scream, he rubbed his hard dick in Steve’s hip.

“Tony, tell me or I swear I won’t” Steve really had determination to stay calm, it was giving him hell to be this close and not doing it, but he cared more about Tony than about the stinging pain in his dick.

“It’s a science experimentation” Tony said in a whisper, Steve’s face went red of anger and hit the concrete wall with his bare fist, the wall cracked and pieces fell to the ground.

“I’m going to kill Bruce” Steve said and broke apart, reaching for the door.

“Don’t, I offered myself” Steve gave him a disapproval look “I’m on heat and it hurts and every moment we spend talking I’m dying” Tony maybe had overreacted, but he knew it was the only way to get fucked and he really needed it. He turned to face Steve and gave him one of his most broken glares he could manage to make, his glassy brown eyes did the rest.

Steve pressed his lips into Tony’s and pushed him to the wall, ignoring the sound his bones did when they cracked, the more he kissed him the better Tony was smelling, he ripped Tony’s clothes apart with one hand and didn’t even cared about foreplay (which was weird coming from Steve) He grabbed him by the neck and pushed Tony into the couch, took Tony’s hip digging his fingers in his skin, he unbuckled his jeans and let out his huge swallowed dick and without even fingering him, he pushed himself into Tony.

Tony screamed in pain.

Steve couldn’t handle it, Tony was so tight, he even felt Tony was wet, he thrusted again. Tony tightened more, he moaned in pleasure and pulled Tony’s hair with his fingers he placed the other hand on Tony’s hip, he kept on fucking him deep and hard.

“More Steve, faster” Tony said crying.

Steve turned mad when he heard Tony imploring for more, he forgot about his super strength, about Tony’s skin turning purple, about Tony’s cracked bones every time he thrusted deeper and held him tighter, he forgot about everything. He thrusted faster and harder, hitting Tony occasionally, he had never placed a hand in not a gentle way on Tony, when he did he felt a sudden and fulfilling pleasure, he had never felt this way in his entire life. He dragged Tony closer and pushed his cock deeper. A lousy noise of cracked bones was heard, and Tony let out a horrible scream, he kept on going.

Then he felt how Tony’s muscles were tensed around his cock.

“I’m coming” Tony managed to mumble already breathless and Steve took him by the neck, strangling him and thrusted him harder, deeper and faster. Then he came with a loud moan, he came all inside Tony. Tony felt how he was filled with warmth and exploded into his own orgasm, screaming loudly, then his arms began to tremble and he fell into the couch, Steve pulled away, his legs trembling, his heart racing fast, he threw his head back and tried to breath in, it’d been the best orgasm ever, after he could feel his pulse stabilizing he turned to see Tony who was nearly asleep on the couch.

Tony was feeling relieved, peaceful and happy, then Steve talked.

“Oh my god Tony, what did I do?”  Steve said with a broken shaking voice, he was at the edge of crying.

“You fucked me and I loved it” Tony spoke with his eyes closed and tasted the iron in his mouth, he touched his lips with his trembling fingers and opened his eyes, he found blood, he turned to see Steve and found a complete broken Steve Rogers. He was standing with terrified teary eyes and a desperate look.

“I raped you” Steve mumbled under his breath and fell into his knees.

“Of course not, I asked for it” Tony said and Steve broke into tears.

“Tony I’m so sorry” He said crying analysing every spot on Tony’s body, he took Tony carefully trying to lift him up, at the moment Tony was moved he felt a terrible pain coming from his back, his ribs, his hip, his head. He couldn’t hold his agonic scream, Steve broke even more. He felt like dying.

“Fuck” He said and tried to breathe, but it was getting harder

“Oh My God Tony, How do you feel? Oh God, I’m so sorry” Steve kept on mumbling and lifted him up bridal style, Tony kept complaining, even though he didn’t want to, he couldn’t hold the whines coming out his lips.

“Can’t breathe” Tony managed to say breathless and saw how Steve was more than broken, he was carrying him upstairs, his cheeks red and wet, he tried to say something to make things better, but everything went blurry and he couldn’t keep on…

He lost conscious.

When he opened his eyes he was lying in a bed inside of what he recognized was Bruce’s lab, he saw Natasha staring at him.

“He’s alive” She said and exited the lab, then he saw Bruce walking next to him, he checked the vital signs and gave him a small smile.

“What happened?”  Tony asked.

“You fell from the stairs some days ago” Bruce lied

“No he didn’t” it was Steve’s voice and it sounded death, edgy, cold.

“Steve?” Tony said and smiled, Steve didn’t look at him.

“I nearly kill you” Steve said and Tony looked at Bruce with a frightened look.

“That isn’t true right?”  Tony asked Bruce.

“It is” Steve said and walked closer to Tony.

“I broke your ribs, which perforated you a lung, I broke your hip and nearly break one of your vertebrates, I almost strangled you which gave you a respiratory attack and you fell into comma, a wrist broken, and you’ve got bruises everywhere. I know sorry won’t fix anything, and I’m terribly sorry Tony” Steve’s voice broke, his eyes full of tears “and I totally understand if you don’t want to do nothing with me anymore, I even support it. I can sign the divorce papers any day, I swear, I’m just so terribly sorry. I deserve jail”

That was dramatic, Bruce thought and tried to walk farther from them, he didn’t know where this was heading to, he kept on looking at the blood tests he kept on doing to Tony every morning, it had only been 4 days, but he was expecting to see some POSITIVE sign on the pregnancy hormone. It was still NEGATIVE, he sighed deeply.

“What are you talking about? Divorce? I fucking love you” Tony said trembling, his voice rough and broken, his eyes teary. Steve felt broken when he saw Tony being this vulnerable, this exposed, he walked closer.

“I love you too, but I just can’t believe what I did to you, I can’t forgive myself” Then Steve broke and sobbed loudly.

“Steve it’s okay, nothing worse than field, you know it” The older one tried to make a joke about it, it didn’t come out right.

“Exactly! At field. I’m the one who should be caring after you and not doing this to you. I’m a terrible person. You deserve so much better” Steve said and the instant thought of Bucky came into his mind, maybe if Tony had chosen Bucky this would’ve never had happened, maybe he should’ve just stepped away.

“Come on Steve, there’s nothing to forgive”

“I could have killed you, I’m a danger to yourself”

Tony’s thought became clearer, memories about that day began to strike him, he looked into Steve’s blue eyes “It was an accident, it was heat, chemistry, and experimentation" Steve shook his head and buried his forehead in Tony’s hand.

“Tony I’m sorry” he said still crying and kissed Tony’s hand, his touch even more gentle.

“Don’t be! It was the best sex ever”

“Don’t you get it? I fucking love you” Bruce turned to see Steve, he had never heard Steve curse, of course Tony had already heard him like this, it was sexy as hell “I will always love you and care for you. If caring is not being with me…”

“Hold on? Are you trying to use this as an excuse to break up with me?”  Tony said pissed and Steve rolled his eyes, even more pissed.

"Of course not! Tony get real, you’re my husband. I adore you” Steve said firmly, his blue eyes deep dug in Tony’s brown gaze “I just can’t forgive myself for hurting you”

“Steve please kiss me” Tony said and Steve shook his head “Please”

And yet again, Steve couldn’t escape those broken brown eyes, he leaned closer and gave him a gentle soft kiss on the lips, carefully placing his hands in Tony’s cheeks, gently rubbing his thumb.

“Don’t you dare leave me” Tony threatened and Steve let out the first smile in days.

“I won’t” He said and dragged a chair close to Tony’s bed.

“May I take a bit more?” Bruce intruded ruining the moment and Tony just rolled his eyes “Couldn’t you find another moment?” He asked pissed and Steve gave him a disapproval look “Take it Dr.” Steve said and Tony gave Steve a hatred look “You’re going to be on bed for so many days after this” Steve threatened and Tony threw his head back in the pillow “Shit” he mumbled.

After some minutes Bruce was looking at the papers with a huge smile on his face “I’m a fucking genius” Bruce mumbled and gave himself a proud look, he kept smiling at the paper he was holding, at the bottom of the sheet he could read in black thick letters “POSITIVE”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment Please! c:


	3. Bucky?

Tony was holding between his hands a bowl full of Pringles, he was eating viciously, he tried hard to contain his cravings, but by every day that was passing by it became more difficult to succeed. He was lost in thought, one topic haunting him, How to tell Steve he was pregnant? It’d been 2 months after Bruce told him and still he couldn’t find the right moment or right way to tell him. And this was getting obvious, even Steve told him he was getting “cuter” which of course in Tony’s language meant “fat” He exhaled deeply and stared at the chips he was eating, he really needed to stop eating junk food or soon none of his clothes were going to fit

“You little fella should help me up and stop making me starve” Tony mumbled to his little bump, he got a strong nausea as a response. “Shit” he mumbled and closed his eyes, trying to breathe deeply, he didn’t want to throw up, he really didn’t. After a few more respiration exercises he felt a bit better, he opened his eyes, everything was blurry, he kept on breathing, after a few more minutes he began to see clearly “Fuck” he mumbled and took a step back “All right, no eating deals with you” he said and nothing happened, so he took that as an agreement.

Now back to thoughts, there were too many ways to tell Steve, maybe he should listen to Bruce and buy some tiny shoes, leave them by the night desk along with a note saying “Morning Daddy” He shook his head, that idea was pretty ridiculous. He lifted his hand holding his forehead, he really was creative, so why was this being so hard? All right, what about buying a tiny Captain America uniform and dress the dog with it? No, he didn’t own a fucking dog. Maybe he could buy one…

A screeching sound was heard in the glass, Tony was aggressively pulled out of his thoughts by instinct, he jumped and took another step back, the sound became louder and then it stopped. After a while footsteps were heard coming from the living room, it couldn’t be Steve, Steve was at the bedroom setting everything for their movie night, the stairs and the elevator were next to the kitchen, he would’ve seen him coming. A little maniac chuckle was heard, Tony took another step back. He was at the penthouse of his tower, which meant more than 200 meters up in the sky, no possible human being could reach him, besides who would set up such a mysterious scene?

In a second his thoughts flashbacked to his first encounter with James, midnight, graveyard and that fucking bastard trying to make it even worse, he was about to build a fresh new offense to Bucky when another thought stroke him, and what if it wasn’t Bucky? A cold air filtered through his chest paralyzing him, instead of reacting like he always did: arrogant, fearless, reckless, he reacted in an unknown way even for him, his hand covering his bump, his lips began to tremble, he took another step back. He was so afraid. One and only thought in his mind: His baby.

His sarcasm changed in less than a second to a panic attack, he started sweating coldly, nervousness haunting him, making him paranoid. He tried hard to be strong, then he felt his cheeks wetting, damn, he was crying. Stupid hormones. “James? Is that you” he tried to sound strong and fearless, though his voice was already broken. He sobbed loudly and cursed under his breath, holding with one hand the bowl full of Pringles and the other safely placed in his bump.

Bucky was shocked, he was looking at the scene from the darkest spot of the pent house. What the fuck had happened to the Tony Stark he loved so much? First time he’d met him they were at a graveyard, it was midnight and he had threatened the man, and the engineer had simply lifted his arms and said in an arrogant strong voice “Be my guest” since that moment Bucky fell for the man. That was the Tony Stark he damn knew. But this guy? This helpless guy looked like a frightened deer being haunted by a pack of lionesses, he was crying and shaking lightly, it was painful to see him this way, he had a bandage in his wrist and was dressing an oversized grey knitted sweater, he could swear it was Steve’s, he was wearing black pants and was barefoot, his toes curled up. Tony Stark wasn’t like this, he damn knew the guy. He didn’t cry out loud, he wasn’t afraid of anything, and his voice was always strong even when his minutes were counted on field. Bucky didn’t know how to react and he moved without thinking, he pushed a crystal vase, the sound of the broken glass made Tony jumped, he sobbed louder “Please… Bucky please” he whispered then he dug his sight at the floor.

Bucky couldn’t stand watching him so helpless and vulnerable, this was no longer funny, he walked until he reached the engineer, Tony didn’t look up “Tony it’s me” he said, his voice soft and Tony looked up, his brown gaze was full of tears, his lips trembling, he smiled and moved closer.

Tony tried hard to stop crying, what the fuck hormones?! This was so pathetic, he was so ashamed of this ridiculous scene, he was feeling so powerless, so tiny. Shit, Shit, Shit! A wave of anger made him wipe his tears, though his body was hating him right now cause as soon as he dried his face his eyes started crying against his will, his hormones betraying him. He sobbed loudly and cursed, he was so angry at himself for being this weak.

“Hey sweetie, everything’s all right. I’m here beautiful” Bucky said gently and touched his cheek with his human hand, feeling the warmth of Bucky made him look up, digging his brown eyes in Bucky’s dark blue eyes.

“You’re safe sweetie” Bucky mumbled and placed a soft kiss in his forehead.

To feel Tony’s skin in his lips sent a sorrow through his senses, his heart aching, he felt the sudden need of feeling him closer, of kissing him, hold him, he tried hard to stop it, but it was useless, his mind was stolen by a flashback.

\-----

_Bucky was in the room with Steve, he was watching carefully how his best friend was dressing his 1943 US. Captain Uniform “It looks good? I feel it looks too old, is it too old?” Steve asked, his eyes shining in such a special way, Bucky chuckled “Is not the uniform, is you” Steve rolled his eyes and let out a smile, he was analysing his reflection at the full length mirror in front of them “I’m so fucking nervous” He said and Bucky laughed and stood up, standing next to his best friend, he rubbed his back “Calm down, not anyone marries Captain America, you’re perfect” he said and gave him a tender smile, Steve smiled back and gave a third look to his reflection “Not anyone marries Tony Stark” he said and chuckled, Bucky tried hard to smile, because after all they’ve been through what else could make you happier than witnessing your best friend’s wedding? After being frozen so many years, finally finding happiness. This was a special day, they used to talk about it since they were 17. Bucky was actually happy, everything would’ve been perfect if that bloody name wasn’t added to this. Tony Stark._

_Yes not anyone could marry the billionaire, and it seems that this brave skinny Brooklyn kid managed to steal his heart. I mean it was fine, he was proud, but still he couldn’t avoid his own feelings. Steve noticed Bucky’s lost glance and understood everything, he came closer and wrapped him in a hug “I’m sorry” he mumbled and Bucky shook his head, getting rid of the hug “For what? It’s all right, everything’s cool. Come on, get ready, he’s a diva. You can’t keep him waiting” he said trying to sound cheerful and gave him a tight hug, then he left the room telling him he was going to be waiting outside._

_He closed the door behind him and let out a huge sigh, damn luck! Tony Stark was walking right in front of him, he was dressing a red wine tuxedo, a white long sleeved dress shirt, and a red wine bow at his neck, his dark hair messy and his goatee perfectly done. He was beautiful. Pepper was beside him talking cheerfully, she was dressing a red wine long tight dress, his blonde hair up and a golden necklace around her neck. Iron man colours. He chuckled, Tony was always like this. Tony heard his chuckle and gave him a bright smile “Aren’t you supposed to be with Steve?” he asked and Bucky nodded stupidly, he wasn’t ready to talk to the man, not now “You’re looking handsome” he again stupidly said, Tony smiled and Pepper gave him a hatred look, Bucky sighed and took a step back “You’re looking good too Bucks” he said and Bucky felt a pathetic rush of joy though his skin._

_“Come on Tony, we’re late” Pepper said sharply and without even looking at Bucky she grabbed the engineer by the arm and dragged him away, Bucky rolled his eyes. After 10 more minutes Steve came out, he was beyond limit “So? How do I look?” He asked nervous, Bucky chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest “I truly miss old days when you were the one being invisible” Steve chuckled “Am I stealing your girls?” he teased and Bucky smiled back “No, the serum’s stealing my girls” Steve laughed, Bucky looked at him, he loved him in such a special way, when they were together he could feel at home again “Look at the bright side” Steve said while placing his military hat in his head “After this day I’m officially off the market” He said and Bucky smiled, but he felt something break inside him: realization_

_Last three years he had managed to be near the couple, he liked being with Steve, it was a huge relief and escape from this modern age, they used to talk about old times and learn about new ones, they could talk for hours, laugh until the stomach ache was unbearable, though the one he was really after was Tony, always Tony. He tried to get Tony’s friendship, and he succeeded. Both grew close, of course Stark set things straight since the beginning, he loved Steve. Bucky understood, he really didn’t mind about labels, friend, boyfriend, lover. He didn’t care. He just wanted to be close. Being there, there when Tony got sick and needed help, there when Tony’s mood swung from happy to incredibly furious in half a second, there when Tony was frightened while watching a Japanese horror movie, there when he was tender, or bitchy, or laughing, or crying. Just there, beside him. He didn’t mind of Steve holding him, he tried to avoid those short kisses they used to share at the middle of a movie, or that incredibly energy they had when they fought. A simple smile of Tony was worth the pain._

_He knew Steve was conscious about this, he couldn’t hide his feelings to his best friend, though he tried, he tried hard, he used to tell everyone he didn’t feel anything for anyone. He had sworn to Steve he didn’t love Tony, he even tried to deceive himself. It was hopeless._

_He walked besides his best friend until they reached a small altar lying in the sand of that private beach, it was covered in white and red flowers. The decoration mixing Captain America’s and Iron Man’s colours, he stood beside Steve and both looking at the aisle waited. He was holding two rings that were shining brightly in a bluish pale tone, both rings had been taken out of Tony’s reactor. He sighed and tried hard to keep on “You’ll be the best husband any person could have” he said without thinking and Steve turned to see him with bright glassy eyes “You really think so?” he asked excited and Bucky smiled “I’m sure” he said and Steve hugged him tight, then music began and all the guests stood._

_Natasha was wearing a tight emerald dress with a wide open neckline, she had chosen green mocking Bruce who was standing next to them dressing a black tuxedo, he was holding a tiny golden box, he was Tony’s best man. Fury was also there, dressing a black tuxedo with a black long sleeved dress shirt, Maria Hill was next to him dressing a tight golden dress, her hair combed up beautifully, next to her was Clint who was wearing a dark blue tuxedo, a red tie and a long sleeve dress shirt, next to Clint was Laura, dressing a light blue silk long dress. Thor was sitting closer to Steve, he was wearing a black tuxedo without tie nor bow, Jane next to him dressing a long tight black dress._

_Bucky looked up, his glance dug in the empty aisle, then “Highway to hell” from AC/DC began and Steve couldn’t contain his laugh, he now knew why Tony kept his “wedding CDS” in his top secret archive. Bucky smiled widely when he saw the glamourous engineer walking down the aisle by the arm of Pepper Potts. They both wearing red wine outfits and golden accessories, this was epic. Tony Stark was always epic._

_Both walked until they reached the altar, the waves breaking next to the small altar, sunset turning the sky an uncommonly red, everything was perfect. The ceremony wasn’t religious, just legal, both signed papers and said their vows. Both had agreed to write them personally and not to show it to anyone, Tony took out a wrinkled sheet of paper and started reading, his speech was creative, sarcastic, and ironic, it was bright and fresh, just like him, people were laughing and Steve couldn’t contain his wide smile, yes, this was the Tony he loved, the man who couldn’t take anything seriously, the man who swore to god marriage was for stupid men and was now standing at the altar, he loved this man._

_Tony ended up his speech with this “Fury says I’ve got issues over my issues, waitress that’s Fury, he doesn’t deserve dessert” Tony pointed out Fury and the crowd laughed “Anyway, Fury says I’ve got issues over my issues, and truth is I’ve got issues over life itself, I’m the farthest of being perfect, I’m a 49 year old who has more demons than friends, and you know it. And here you are. I mean, did the serum fuck up your common sense?” He asked directly to Steve and though the crowd laughed, Steve laughed louder, Tony rugged his sheet and dug his eyes into Steve’s already watery eyes “Some say I’m too arrogant, too selfish, too weak. But you make me believe in myself, so for those who say I brag about everything let me tell you something, Captain America is marrying me. So come on, hit me with your best shot” He said and Steve couldn’t stop himself, he hugged Tony kissing him deeply, the crowd started clapping, Steve then took a step back and started talking, he didn’t pull out any sheet, he knew the words he was saying._

_Bucky was shocked, he had never heard Steve being this passionate, his words were firm and straight to the point, just as a Captain will do. Tony’s eyes were filled with tears, and not just Tony’s, Pepper’s, Clint’s, Happy’s, Bruce’s, Thor’s, Jane’s, Bucky could swear he even saw Natasha’s eyes turn watery.  He was feeling so proud of Steve, so happy for both of them. Steve smiled deeper and held Tony’s jaw with one hand “If I was in 1943 and knew all of this was going to happen, I wouldn’t doubt a second to crash that plane into the Atlantic. Anthony Stark, you’re worth waiting 75 years underwater” He said and Tony was already crying out of joy, he gave Steve a look that Bucky could never forget, it was full of innocence, of kindness, love, faith and happiness, it was such a soft glance coming from Tony._

_“I love you” he mumbled in a broken voice and Steve kissed him deeply. All the guests stood clapping. The air was feeling so light, happiness and love were the main guests of the night. He joined the others with screams of joy, he tried hard to keep on, to look away from that eternal kiss they were sharing. After the ceremony, there was the reception, he could handle it, he even could handle Steve and Tony’s first waltz, it had been such a beautiful dance at the rhythm of “Iris” from Goo Goo Dolls. After all the pain he felt he was standing there laughing with the guests and joking once in a while with Steve, he tried hard to avoid Tony. He felt like breaking every time he saw him wearing that ring._

_He was standing in front of the huge cake trying to take another slice when he heard a voice behind him “Are you avoiding me?” It was Tony’s voice, it sent shivers through his spine and made him jump out of shock “No, I just hadn’t seen you around” He lied and smile “Congratulations Tony Rogers” he said unable to keep his glance away of Tony’s ring “I’d rather Stark, suits me better. Stark Rogers” he said and gave him a smile, Bucky melted right away and smiled back, a known song began playing, he recognized it from his 80’s classic list of tracks “You haven’t danced with the most handsome best man ever” Tony laughed and nodded, Bucky took him by the hand and dragged him to the dance floor, they were the only ones there, everyone was having dessert “The song” Bucky said and Tony laughed “This old heart of mine, Rod Stewart” he said and Bucky smiled widely taking him by the waist._

_They were turning and fooling, singing loudly. Steve saw them and smiled deeply, until he saw how Bucky took Tony by the waist again and rested his forehead in Tony’s forehead, both noses rubbing. They were moving slowly, for a moment Bucky tried to believe this was real, he tried to day-dream Tony was his and this was their wedding. Just 4 minutes in heaven were enough to stand hell. He opened his dark blue eyes and Tony’s brown eyes were brightly shining, he gave him a tender smile. It was a kind look, but it wasn’t even close to the look he had given Steve some hours ago, that ripped him from the inside. He knew the song was almost over and started singing “I love you, yes I do. This old heart of mine is weak for you. I love you, yes I do” he sang and tried to lean closer, reaching for Tony’s lips, Tony stopped moving and tried to pull away without being too obvious “Bucky” Steve’s voice was heard, he said his name with severity, Bucky broke away and looked around, everyone staring at them, some were just looking, others were shocked, others were already chatting about Bucky’s and Tony’s chemistry, others were just giving Tony a deep hatred look. Bucky broke, he walked closer and placed a soft kiss in Tony’s forehead, he looked up to find Steve’s broken smile “I’m sorry” he mumbled and without looking back he left”_

**_……_ **

“Bucky, are you all right?” Tony asked when he recovered himself from crying and watched how his friend didn’t move, Bucky was pulled out of the trance, this was the first time he was seeing Tony after the wedding. He was still holding him, he couldn’t stop himself and kissed him deeply, almost fierce, biting his lips and pulling him closer, Tony tried to fight it but a vibranium arm was holding him close. “James” it was Steve’s voice, Bucky pulled away, his eyes full of tears “I’m sorry, I just, I’m sorry” both men said and Bucky tried to run away “No, please don’t go” Steve said and both men looked at him with a confused glare. Tony yawned and his eyes began to get dusty, he was exhausted. “You tired?” Steve asked and Tony nodded, fighting to keep his eyes open, Bucky stared shocked, he looked at the clock they had hanging at the kitchen, 10:03 P.M. This was too early for Tony to feel tired. “Come on, let me take you to bed” Steve said and Tony nodded again

“Tony, would you mind if I go out with Bucky for a drink? It won’t take long” Steve asked and Tony felt something inside break, if Steve wanted to go out for a fucking beer why wouldn’t he tell him? Why did he need Bucky? Oh of course, he had become a whining lazy bitchy pregnant man. He wanted to get a beer too, but of course he wasn’t allowed because of fucking pregnancy. He sighed deeply “It’s all right” he said and Steve smiled and took Tony’s hand “I’ll be down in a sec” Steve told Bucky and pulled Tony with him “James…” Tony tried to talk to Bucky “It’s all right, I’ll be here when you wake up” Bucky said and gave him a smile, trying to hide his shocked glare. Tony again yawned and nodded, he walked with Steve to the elevator, still holding his Pringles bowl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update! I'm drowning in homework, I swear I'll be updating almost daily as soon as holidays are here. C: Thanks for keeping up

**Author's Note:**

> Comment please c:


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